The perks of a new Russian passport
Sure, Ukrainians are being forced to become Russian citizens, but now they also get to be friends with North Korea.
It’s Friday the 13th, in October, no less! All very spooky.
I was thrilled to read a wonderful review of VICTOR IN TROUBLE from The Strategy Bridge this week. “Finley’s work is part of a long and glorious tradition of satire in the world of military and foreign affairs,” they wrote, including my little book with such greats as Catch-22 and M*A*S*H. I particularly love the inclusion of the latter, as M*A*S*H was very influential in my approach to writing my first book, VICTOR IN THE RUBBLE.
Here are a few more of my favorite quotes from the review:
What makes Finley’s universe of Russian bad guys so believable is her intimate knowledge of national policy, strategy, government bureaucracy, and human idiosyncrasies.
Finley opens opportunities to talk about misinformation campaigns, the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and the insidious nature of divisive political rhetoric through an accessible book that is genuinely enjoyable.
Victor in Trouble is the satirical delight that we all need.
Read the full review here, and be sure to check out all my books here.
ALEX’S WEEKLY RANT
Ukrainians living in occupied areas of Ukraine are being forced to get Russian passports to do, well, anything. Without a Russian passport, residents of these areas are being denied medical care, jobs, municipal services, social services, and even access to utilities.
That may be a war crime, but there is a silver lining! Because that new Russian passport you were forced to get so your children could go to school and be indoctrinated with Russian propaganda comes with an added bonus: the chance for your newly Russian children to spend the fall holidays at a military camp in North Korea.
This billboard has reportedly appeared in Melitopol, in occupied Ukraine.
It reads: “Military training camp during fall holidays. North Korean Rus’” And in small letters to the lower right, it says: “Wellness camp for children.” And what you see are very happy Russian and North Korean kids, thrilled to be spending their fall holidays at a military camp in the Hermit Kingdom where apparently everyone wears a red scarf and all little girls have pigtails.
Now, I don’t know if this billboard is real or not. It was posted on X (formerly Twitter, the site that used to be a go-to for first-hand, on-the-ground information and is now a cesspool of disinformation and grifters) by Anton Gerashchenko, an advisor to Ukraine’s Ministry of Internal Affairs (that is, the country’s security services). But I don’t care if it’s real or not, because it gave me a reason to research North Korean children’s camps, which are real and which are often attended by Russian children.
What’s in store at a North Korean kids camp?
Well, there aren’t any stores with anything in them, but kids at such camps are apparently treated well and get food. Not as much food as Kim Jong Un, the only fat person in North Korea, but it’s not like the children are starved to death, like the locals.
One such camp, the Songdowon International Children’s Camp in Wonsan, actually allowed an Associated Press photographer in for opening day in 2014. That year, the government-subsidized camp attracted children from China (makes sense), Russia (ok, I can understand that), Vietnam and Tanzania (still hoping that Communism thing works out?), and Ireland (what the fuck?). The complex has an aquarium and, of course, the requisite statue of Kim Il Sung (the founder of North Korea) surrounded by children.
Activities included cooking, volleyball, soccer, swimming, video games (I assume only the most recent, high-tech games, like Pong), and a full water park with water slides.
Here is a panoramic shot of the camp, taken from Young Pioneer Tours, because yes, there are tours to North Korea.
One real quick digression: I think Kim Jong Un loves water slides (and I love to envision him bouncing down them). Why do I think this? Because he owns a yacht that has water slides. I say “yacht,” but it’s not like a Russian oligarch yacht. It’s more like a barge. A barge with water slides (I assume it does have liquor and prostitutes, like a Russian yacht, though). Here’s a satellite photo of it, taken from the NKNews web site.
It’s not all fun and games.
At least, not if you’re a North Korean child. Last year, Kim Jong Un announced that North Korean children need a little more indoctrination and handed down orders for them to participate in live-fire drills at children’s military camps to help them be more loyal. Many of the children sent to these facilities are children of parents who perished in military training exercises. So, not only is your dad dead, but now you have to give your life to the state and dodge live fire. These children look thrilled, while Kim Jong Un looks like he just ate a lot of cheese.
Military indoctrination isn’t just for other North Korean kids. It’s also for his own. Kim Jong Un’s daughter made her first public appearance in November 2022, which apparently is “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” if you are the Supreme Leader. On Dad’s agenda that day? A missile test launch.
For more background on Kim Jong Un, see the section on him in my series on dictators:
THE WEEK’S LINKS
A roundup of stories you should be reading
DISINFORMATION
‘A.I. Obama’ and Fake Newscasters: How A.I. Audio Is Swarming TikTok (NY Times)
EU urges Musk to tackle spread of disinformation on X after Hamas attack (Reuters)
Alex Finley is a former officer of the CIA’s Directorate of Operations, where she served in West Africa and Europe. She writes and teaches about terrorism, disinformation / covert influence, and oligarch yachts. Her writing has appeared in Slate, Reductress, Funny or Die, POLITICO, The Center for Public Integrity, and other publications. She has spoken to the BBC, MSNBC, CNN, C-SPAN’s Washington Journal, France24, and numerous other media outlets. She was also invited once to speak at Harvard, which she now tells everyone within the first ten seconds of meeting them. She is the author of the Victor Caro series, satirical novels about the CIA. Before joining the CIA, Alex was a journalist, covering Capitol Hill, the Pentagon, and the Department of Energy. She reported on issues related to national security, intelligence, and homeland security. Did she mention she was invited to speak at Harvard?
