Revenge of the Nerds
It brings me no pleasure to have to side with Harvard
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ALEX’S WEEKLY RANT!
Donald Trump has been defying the odds, pulling off all kinds of previously unthinkable shit. From making us all poorer to disobeying the Supreme Court to gleefully terminating due process, from siding (again!) with Russia and hiring Russian flunkies, to killing science and innovation. It’s dizzying and heart-wrenching and infuriating. And this week, that mother fucker did something else I never thought possible: He got me to root for Harvard.
If you’ve followed me on social media for any length of time, you’ve probably seen me post this message: “Harvard owes us all an apology.”
This usually accompanies news about something stupid a Harvard graduate (or almost graduate) or the school itself has done: Vivek Ramaswamy getting his American civics wrong; Harvard hiring Sean “biggest inauguration crowd ever” Spicer; Harvard grads running Chinese detention camps; Ted Cruz or Mark Zuckerberg doing…anything. Seriously, how could such a prestigious institution turn out so many dicks?
I’ve also made a few jokes about how it is apparently legally required for people who went to Harvard to tell you they went to Harvard within the first three minutes of meeting them (see my bio for an example). I think this must be taught during orientation and hammered into their crimson brains for four years.
But this week, Harvard did something my own beloved alma mater of Columbia failed to do: the university told Trump to go fuck himself. Which, quite frankly, is so much more characteristic of New York than Boston—sorry, Cambridge—that it only adds to my distress that Columbia didn’t do the same.
Using “fighting antisemitism” as a false cover, the Trump administration made demands (first on Columbia, now on Harvard) that would drastically change what can be taught by whom, and how the universities process applications and choose their student body. In short, it is an attempt to strong arm the universities to promote political ideologies deemed “correct” by this administration, rather than allowing the universities to choose.
When Trump first made these demands on Columbia, I (admittedly not a lawyer or legal expert) thought: Wait, that sounds blatantly unconstitutional. Don’t universities have First Amendment rights, too? I also thought: Columbia actually makes lawyers and legal experts. Columbia also makes experts in fascism and authoritarianism. Certainly the university has people from whom to source a big picture analysis and a full-throated defense?
Apparently not. Columbia caved. As an alumna (and quite frankly, as an American), I was angry and ashamed.
Faced with similar demands, Harvard’s president refused to fall in line.
In an open letter earlier this week, Harvard’s president wrote: “No government—regardless of which party is in power—should dictate what private universities can teach, whom they can admit and hire, and which areas of study and inquiry they can pursue… The university will not surrender its independence or relinquish its constitutional rights.”
It brings me no pleasure whatsoever to say this, but: Rock on, Harvard!
Trump has turned up the pressure. He has sicced the IRS on Harvard, threatening to pull the university’s tax-exempt status. A move Vice President Vance himself has called anti constitutional (oh, wait, no; he meant it only if he feels conservative institutions are targeted).
Trump has also frozen $2.2 billion in federal funding for the school and released his puppy killer head of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, to threaten to take away Harvard’s ability to accept foreign students.
Harvard has a deep pool of financial resources, a powerful alumni network to boot, and has churned out more than 140 sitting federal judges (and quite a few lawyers who aren’t named Ted Cruz). They also have experts in authoritarianism. I hope they can band together to fight this. (Of course, Columbia has all those things, too. Sigh.)
The Hungarian Model
This all fits into a bigger context.
What Trump is doing to American universities is similar to what Viktor Orban did in Hungary as he consolidated power. Orban cronies took over running universities. In some cases, entire faculties and administrations quit in protest. One university was forced out of the country altogether.
Among the moves were: increasing government control over academic research, forcing ideological curricula to support a “national identity,” and taking control of the universities’ real estate assets. This was done under the guise of promoting “Christian, conservative values.”
The goal, both in the US and in Hungary, is clear: to suffocate the independence of these schools, to make sure the next generation of intellectuals and thinkers think “correctly,” in line with the Dear Leader’s ideology. The inversion of truth, the attempt to control history, the assault on facts, these are all part and parcel of Trump’s attempts to consolidate power.
I will never understand why members of the GOP go along with this plan to make the United States—which was a superpower without precedent just two months ago—more like Hungary. Hungary. When is the last time you heard about Hungary being a leading player on the world stage? It was the early 20th century and the country couldn’t even do it alone! Hungary needed a second country, Austria, to have any sway.
A Quick Anecdote (that actually has nothing to do with any of this)
When I was at Columbia, a recent transfer from Harvard asked me out but then spent the entire conversation complaining about Columbia and New York. I told him maybe he should transfer back to Harvard. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t go far. He was the son of a New York real estate magnate and I sometimes wonder what that life would have been like had he and I clicked and my social circle would have come to include Ivanka and Jared. Nightmare fuel.
By the way, did I mention that Jared went to Harvard? I’m not ready to forgive Harvard completely yet.
THE WEEK’S LINKS
A roundup of things you should be reading
HOW TO BEAT RUSSIA
Play Putin at his own game by ‘nightmaring’ his world order (The Spectator World)
RUSSIAN SABOTAGE
Europe’s new war with Russia: Deep sea sabotage (Politico)
RUSSIAN STOOGE
Trump’s DC attorney pick made over 150 appearances on Kremlin propaganda outlets (Kyiv Independent)
GOP HELPING INVERT TRUTH
Republicans Are Obsessed with a Censorship Lie (The Bulwark)
EXCELLENT RESOURCES!
Just Security has launched WHAT JUST HAPPENED? as well as a litigation tracker to help readers keep up with the chaos
Alex Finley is a former officer of the CIA’s Directorate of Operations, where she served in West Africa and Europe. She writes and teaches about terrorism, disinformation / covert influence, and oligarch yachts. Her writing has appeared in Slate, Reductress, Funny or Die, POLITICO, The Center for Public Integrity, and other publications. She has spoken to the BBC, MSNBC, CNN, C-SPAN’s Washington Journal, France24, and numerous other media outlets. She was also invited once to speak at Harvard, which she now tells everyone within the first ten seconds of meeting them. She is the author of the Victor Caro series, satirical novels about the CIA. Before joining the CIA, Alex was a journalist, covering Capitol Hill, the Pentagon, and the Department of Energy. She reported on issues related to national security, intelligence, and homeland security. Did she mention she was invited to speak at Harvard?
